I was given this book, How To Heal, by my father (who is a friend of the author,) back when my wife Lori was first diagnosed with stage IV cancer. I have to admit it sat on my bookshelf for several weeks before I got around to reading it, but I was quite glad when I finally did. I now recommend it as one of the cornerstones of what to read when a loved one has first been diagnosed with cancer, or any other serious disease. Becoming a caregiver doesn’t exactly come with a manual, but Jeff Kane’s book goes a long way toward filling this need : )

Communicating effectively & compassionately with someone fighting a serious, or even terminal disease, is difficult at best. It may come naturally to some, but I would guess that these folks are in the minority. In my situation it was made even more difficult by the fact that Lori & I were newlyweds (she was diagnosed just seven weeks after we were married,) so we had very little past experience to really pull from, and a plethora of unrealistic expectations about each other that needed to be sorted out. How To Heal was given to me just in time. What Jeff teaches is how to really be there for someone, how to open yourself up emotionally, how to truly listen to what your loved one has to say…and he does an excellent job of explaining the nature of the suffering that a sick person experiences.

If you’re a caregiver struggling with what to say, and longing to have a true healing impact on a sick loved one, I highly recommend Jeff Kane’s How How To Heal. I have returned to it again and again. -Cary